Dear friends,

It's been awhile since i write here. I been through really hard time. Trust me. Rin still lagi struggle & try bertahan. I still mess up, confuse and still searching for what i really want, who i really am, still searching for my happiness. I did give up a few time. Luckily, I  have really (like 100 times) good/ great/ awesome friends & "you" around me that always watching me, stay with me even though they don't really understand my issue plus with the busy day. Thank you so much, rin x tau macam mana nak berterima kasih. It really mean a lot to me.ok..whatever....finish on my issue.... x nak sebut dh.....

Dikesempatan ni, nak ucap terima kasih my all UTP family (include buddys rin (geng 6 asis + ijat) 

To all i care (da lagi yang x dpat include -rin akan try wat stage by stage):

• To someone special : Nak taw, datang tnya sendiri....(private)
• To my roo8 (ana) : Thank you so much for all the time (tak tau nak describe & x mampu nak tulis semua banyak sgt....and still sabar dgn nuin sampai sekarang....minta maaf nuin slalu x de time ana ssh...huhu...
• To ara:  Thank you so much for all this time especially the msg u sent me and selalu ada untuk aku, aku baca byk kali, remind myself...I am not alone...I now realise i always have you guys..(p/s sgn nak ckp depan or msg balik...huhu....).
• To nabila: Thank you sbb layan ja aku msa foundation dlu.hehe..hg antara kawan first aku kt utp...kawan time sedih, gila, ting tong, time happy....aku tak kn lupa yang tu.... sbb hg aku jumpa kawan2 a.k.a family yg awesome ni...
• To  Sha: thank you sbb slalu je layan solan pelik aku sal relationship and layan je ak cita sal ntah papa...
• To Aira : Walaupun kita x rapat, hg slalu je layan aku bercerita. Terima kasih...
• To Shera : Walaupun hang bz, tp hg slalu ada untuk kawan2 hg, hg byk buka mata aku sal byk bnda...byk buat ak fikir...slalu tgr aku bila aku wat bnda yg plek2... Thank you gorgeous.
• To Nad : Thank you sbb tahan dgn ak slama ni...n sudi jadi roo8 ak..n still x lupa nak update bnda sal utp kt aku...hihi.. 
• To Everyone else : Thank you sbb still terima aku dalam so call family korang kt UTP..... and menceriakan hari2 aku kt utp. \
• To Fakhrur, Kelly, Yen : Thank you yang sgt2 sbb banyak tolong ak study, motivate aku & support aku.... remind aku..bg semangt kat aku....

Rin stop tulis blog coz it does not help me recover. i know some people say, writing help you to express you feeling and feel better. I guess it's not me.. so, i did give up on blogging until i finally find my reason to start writting again which akan dinyatakan at the end of this post...hahah (suspen sikit) Walaupun rin tak pandai menulis, bahasa berterabur, i know my english is terrible, spelling hancur...entah org faham ke x pe rin tulis.....haha.... 

It all begin this morning 3 am, rin tgk movi ni..... The Perks of Being a Wallflower (credit to afiq, my brother). I learn a lot from the movies...rin nak list quote from this movie yang rin suka...so that rin x kan lupa...btw i am short-term memory person...hihi The last one is my favourite. It the reason for this post.

1. We accept the love we think we deserve. Do punish yourself, you can leave if you want. It is you life.
2. Hang in there...everything will eventually turn out okey. ( our life is life a story, story always have happy ending)
3. Don't give up, you don't know what might happen tommorow.
4. This is the moment, it happenning. im here. This is one moment i know i am not a sad story. I am alive. I live..we are infinite.
5. We can't choose where we come from. But, we can choose where we go from there.

I want to live every second of my life....what past is past...THIS IS TODAY, THIS IS NOW...i can still choose what i want to be now, what i want to do next. I STILL CAN ACHIEVE WHAT I WANT. i am not died yet..this is not too late...i still can control my life..I LIVE....i alive..i not a puppet, i am human...i can do this right? nothing if impossible if it keep trying..not give up..and buat sungguh2...my best friend once say...usaha is another word for magic...i can create my own miracle if i fight for it right? I will find my happiness....

Why i need to be sad all the time...if i fail, i can try again...why stop...you have plenty of time in you life....even if i died today..i will not regret...at least i give my best..i try... it better that do nothing....

I want to create memory....i know this is my final year...i been depress since my first year..but, guys....i still have 7 month....i still can do something worth for my life....7 month is not long...but it good enough for me....:-D 

Rin x sangka rin akan sbut bnda ni....tp rin rasa ALLAH sayang rin.... rin  buka folder movi tu dah sebulan dah...tak perasan pn movi ni...ttiba mlm ni, baru pasan de movi tu... rin pn x taw mcm mna bole tak perasan since rin buka folder movi ni almost hari2....

I know ALLAH did punish me to make me realise i wrong...a few time...BIG punishment....He tell me i choose  the wrong thing... rin marah...marah sgt2....rin slalu tanya npe punish rin sampai cam tu skali...ALLAH bg rin bnda yang pling rin x nak dalam dunia ni...bukan sekali plak tu.......He could give something else...why that one thing....tonite rin dah faham... abg slalu cakap bnda ni kt rin...tp rin slalu x dgr...x ambk ksah...rin taw rin marah...rin dh sedar...that the one way that will make me realise...right....i am person who only learn the hard way...

You will only learn about life, about reality when you make mistake...after you ruin your life... than only you found you..your strength..your happiness...your purpose...although i still searching..at least finally it make me think bout this...

To be honest...rin x taw pe rin nak buat lagi lepas ni....but i did know this...i don't want to be sad anymore...i will do archive my dream...i don care if it impossible..i dont care im im sound crazy.x sakit pn kalau mencuba kan....i have to work really (50x) hard.... 

My Dreamlist for now:

• GPA : 3.80 (hahaha....x salah letak target tggi..)
• Rin nak buat semua bnda....I will try my best to YES to everything... rin nak cuba bnda baru....start hidup baru...my own life movies....
• I want to be reliable and trusted person, friend, sister, daughter. I want to be somebody that people can count on....you know what i mean..
• I want to give impact to someone life...i want to be usefull....
• I want to be organized person, kemas and implement plan yang rin buat....
• I want to use movie to do something amazing to my life...i want my addiction to be my motivation...my passion....still x de idea ag....

The one reason i want to write this blog again is i want to write everything...I want to remember everything ..i know i will forget if i don write.. i am short term memory remember....i want to remember bad or good...because i know... everything happen to me, make me who i am today and make me stronger and more motivated to create my best moment right now, to plan for my better day tomorrow. We learn for our mistake right...Your life is dull if it's plain, you can not spell rain in rainbow....so, accept bad thing that happen to you because, bad or good memory...that what make you life thrill, fun and colorful.

Another minor reason is, i been keeping a lot to myself these days.... rin dah byk buat kawan2 rin risau..especially him...to be honest...rin sgn....rin x nk sshkan org.masalah rin sama je...n it lame....n bila dh lama2 simpan...rin dah x reti nak cerita.... this might help them....so that kawan2 rin dh x rsau sgt sal rin lagi lepas ni....they know i am ok...n i will be okey.....

Therefore, i decide from now on, rin nak try untuk tulis blog in positive way....rin nak jdkan blog ni bnda yg positive.,.... Dah x nak emo x tntu hala lagi kt sini....x selesai masalah pn.....

I WILL BE OK....I BELIEVE IN ME.....I CAN DO THIS.....FIGHTING!!!!

Just wonder.... dah lama fikir...tp xde jawapan.... What am i good at....?  Everyone have something amazing, usefull that they are good at right..what's mine?

P/s : post ni al little bit spontan...kalau ayat cam pa ja..harap maaf.... agak2 x fhm...skip je la...

ok....tu je...dh subuh....bye2.....jumpa lagi t......rin dh asa tenang sikit... :D 
Dah de semangt baru...

BAD DAY

NURIN....STOP BEING DESPERATE AND LOSER.... AREN'T YOU ALREADY PATHETIC ENOUGH...

P/S: sorry if my english like shit..it just something that just come to my mind, i want to say it out front.

Kalau la rin de duit banyak....

Teringinnya rantai.....sbb cm bes ja de rantai sendiri..tapi mahal kot emas skrang..klu nak kna de RM1000 dalam tangan...mama cakap...huhu...tapi x slah kan berangan....hihi

ni yang rin berkenan...yang atas skali paling rin ska...hihi

Baucer buku 1 Malaysia (BB1M)

Dear diary,

Cam yang rin cerita semalam, RIN DAPAT BAUCER BUKU!!! RM200 lak tu...wah!!! best gila...semngat dh nak bli buku...hihi...Thank u 1 Malaysia becoz:

1. Sem ni pling byk buku yang nak kna gna...huhu...

2. duit pn xde sgt...baucer tu macam penyelamat la...huhu

Punya la baiknye berangan...engtkan de la baki RM50..bole shopping kt popular...lps klas kol 1, trus g ambk baucer kt chancellor hall....semngat ni sbb nak bli buku Wastewater Engineering...dr. shark (my dictator lecture tapi kelas dia bes) dh pesan...xde buku, jgn masuk klas.....dye sniri mengaku klas dye klas diktator...hihi...klu nak cerita sal dr shark...kna wat post baru....tapi yang awesome...dye taip x tgk keyboard! pergh! rin pn still terhegeh-hegeh cari huruf...haha....

ok2...back to topic...jadi sementara da gap 1 jam sblm klas kol 2...kdai buku jln yang sma nak g klas dr surau..so rin n yen decide nak singgah kedai buku...skali tanya2....mak ai....buku sem ni baru 3 buah dh RM213....huhuh.....terasa cm awan angan2 meletup atas kepala...huhu..cam cerita kartun....

Waste Water Engineering -RM80
Engineering Economic-RM78
RC Design Eurocode 2 -RM55
Total = RM213..huhu.

de 1 lagi subject x taw gna buku ka x? Construction Management project.

ni la gmbar buku yang rin kena bli sem ni....

sori la gmbr buruk sbb ambk pkai hp je...

In one part asa lega sbb dapat gna semua duit baucer...and duit buku tahun ni disupport..in another part...kecewa...baru berangan nak bli satu buku bes yang mahal kt popular....huhu....
anyway....x smpat belek pn baucer tu..dah abis dalam masa sejam....huhu....

*rin volunteer drop french klas...rin sowang je lepas msuk klas tu...kelly, umi, fakhrur x...mlas la nk struggle sowang2.....tawakal je la lepas ni.....huhuhuhu.......so nak tgk la lepas ni de rezeki x nak ambk mandarin or malaysian studies....kalau x..final year first t la.....kredit hour 16..huhu

ok tata...nak balut buku baru....hihi.....

Week 1 conclusion

Dear diary,

walaupun baru week 1 tapi duit dh cm air...huhuh.....mati la rin....harap2 cukup abs bulan mac t....
Sok dapat baucer buku 1 Malaysia....wakahkah!!! skanya sya...

ni just gmbaran pe rin akan dapat sok...haha...(taken from google image)


plan buku yang nak kna bli...(buat masa ni)

1. Buku wastewater engineering
2. Buku engineering economics and entrepreneurship
3. Buku RC design
4. 1 top seller book..sal life yang x mampu bli sebelum ni....i want to be inspire...:)

Sebelum cuti...plan kononnya, nak bli yang perlu ja...skali....byk beli bnda merepek dr yang kna bli....huhu....
duit2....kna start plan duit ni...klu x t x makan la rin....

dh lpa lak nak tls pa....t engt rin edit pos...hihi...

P/s: rin rindu toki....huhu....mggu ni balik jmpa toki..harap2 dye x lupa rin...huhu

After 4 month

Dear diary...

(blushing2....this post is about my happy day with him) sebelum anda berasa bosan and meluat...better anda memilih butang X kat atas untuk tutup post ni...hihi...it might sound cheezy....don't say i not warning u...hihi

Selepas dah nk dekat 3 bulan tunggu...akhirnya...kmi dapat jugak spend time sama2 hari ni... :D

Malam preparation....

start pukul 11-2pm...dasatkan!!!

Problem- nak pakai skirt and shawl....tapi tak ada baju...tak ada shawl...pendek cita xde semua...dh la x reti papa....haha..

Finally, selepas behempas pulas bersama consultant fesyen kt blik shasha...katil sha penuh baju..akhirnya...rin dapat jugak 1 choice complete set tuk baju tuk sok....credit to...shasha, ana, shera, and nabila....

Semua usaha berbaloi...because i look gorgeous in pic...ahak! btw rin pkai contact lens hari ni...hihi

The Day

gerak lmbt...dia lambat....ttido balik....x kesah la...jnji gerak...duit plak xde...sok ambk duit kt gopeng...and breakfast kt gopeng...kluar yang ready punya la semangt...tapi xde plan nk g mna...haha...selepas borak kt maple kt gopeng...akhir kmi decide plan...

kelly's castle ---> jj(tgk wyg) ----> tesco(beli bra..haha)

kelly's castle

Tempat bapek r...cntik gila...walaupn agak kosong...tapi view awesome la...fee masuk rm4 sbb holiday...kalau hari biasa with student card...rm3...rin pn tkr wedges kt sliper...gila pa nk memanjat dgn wegdes...wat skit kaki ja....kmi pn gerak....dgn ska ati...rin suh dye ambk gmbr...rin jadi model...haha...byk gmbr kmi ambk...hihi....tp nk share 3 je la...yg pling cun la...haha...(mla nk share 1 je...tp x taw nk plih yang mana...hehe)

  ni msa kt tangga depan castle

 ni kat pintu tepi castle

ni kat ats roof top castle..nmpk view keliling tmpt tu...cantik la....

*sebenarnya..kitowang smpai tgh hari buta....first, sbb kluar lmbat and plan lambt....second...rin penakut...

ni gmbr castle tu....

 ni kelly's house kt blkang kelly's castle...agk unik...de ruang yg sejuk..walaupn xde bumbung..and panas terik...design dye unik...

 ni rupa dr tpi..yg kaler coklat tu castle (caslte yang dibina gna bata n tlur itik ja..no simen n stay strong smpai skrang)..yg rendah kaler kuning tu house..

 ni yg famous kt tmpt ni pokok yg unik...rupa bear peluk pokok

ni rupa tgh tmpt tu ...tgk mata rin pn taw matahari atas kpala...

kmi jumpa de couple nk ambk gmbr wedding....cntik siot baju dia...trus asa nk kawen...hihi

pastu gerak kt jj....plan nk tgk wayang....dh 4 bulan x tgk wayang....target

1. journey to the mystery island
2. underworld

tp kecewa jam gila nak mati..n parking full yang tramat sgt..trus blah...x thn...g Ip plak..dengan harapan dapat tgk movie kt sna...kecewa jugak kt ip...xde movi tu...jadi blur..x taw nk wat pa dh...

pedicure pn x pat jgk...x snggup nk selak kain..sbb kedai tu terbuka...klu kaki cun x pe la jgk....

pastu...g mna ag ek?? dh bosan sgt kmi pn blah..engt nk g tesco...tp ttiba cm tringin nk try skali ag ja jj...pth la blik...dpt parking..masuk..sume show yg nk tgk set depan....hari ni byk kekecewaan la....1 je yg bes...cm de jdoh lak..jmpa yang lain kt jj...gerak p mkn kt zalela...makan n blik...

wlaupun kmi gdh jgk hari ni...tp it still one sweet n happy day for me...i can't believe....kmi akhirnya dapat open yang ending with happy ending...

walaupn hari ni byk yang pahit jadi....tapi diakhiri ngan senyuman bila tgk gmbr n gelak2 cm nak pecah perut dgn mmbe aka my family kt kdai mkn td....well that life...mkann sedap pn de byk rasa...ini kan pula idup... u wont be happy and enjoy our life unless u try to see everything in a sweet n good pespective....the more u try...ag byk yang akan nmpk... :D

kesimpulan..klu nk jj tgk wayang...kluar awl..tggu kt parking smpai jj bukak...haha...n plan pejalanan anda....hihi....

thnk u dear....for everything today..especially when u listening n comforting me just now...(ayat cm taik...harap awk fhm..hihi)... :) 

*yang pelik...rin x rasa x selesa sepanjang hari pn pkai baju tu...x rasa trpaksa pn..walaupn it is not me at all....i think im start to losing myself...byk pk ari ni..byk yg dh berubah tntang rin..in a good way actually bila pk blik..tp still mkin pk..makin plek...ni sume pnca sbb pa ek...mmg simpton orang nk msuk umur 20 ka...hormone rin gila ka...one this for sure....u change me....i don know how u did it..but u did...

harap semua ni akan berterusan...berubah kearah kebaikan and improve my self....

ok..kna stop dh...too long...klu bg rin tls ni...smpai bila pn x abs...hihi....ok..that it for my happy day....

nyte2...salam..tdo jom!

MY SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY

Tanggal 24 january 2012..di pizza hut batu gajah...tngkat ats...

genaplah umurku....21 thun...1bulan...1 hari...(ayat skema..hihi) -credit to aira sbb tuliskan..n kotak....

thank to semua.....my beloved friends/sisters..bro...especially u....

sori tuk reaction yg cm taik...rin x reti express feeling....tapi..sumpah asa jantung berenti tuk 10 min...lps tu baru bole pk pa yang jadi....terkejut x caya..asa cm ak ni mimpi ka....ni mmg suprise tuk ak ka? ka ak ni mamai sbb lapa sgt....sbb bln jan kn...hilang selera mkan trus....sbb x leh stop senyum...hihi.....blushing gak sebenarnya..hihi....malu....n blur..dok pk...nk react cm na.....smpai kluar piza hut x taw nk react cm na...hahaha

last time potong kek...blum msuk sekolah drjah 1....yang bole pasti sbb rin x puasa ari tu..n kakak kt nursery sume x makan kek tu...rin n kawan2 ja mkn..hahaha...maklum la...besday hujung2 tahun ni biasanya bulan ramadhan...hahaha....x penah expect pn ak dapat asa besday party sendiri...sbb taw susah....

mama sendiri pn x engt...dpat wish pn 25hb...time chrismas....so asa cm my besday x de beza ngan hari2.. biasa....dah besar sikit da hp sniri....excited jgk tggu besday...sbb akn dapat kol free.....hahaha...rin kn ska cakap...hihi....tp tggu besday sbb tu la...x sngka de ag peluang tuk rin ptong kek sniri....thnk u all...

ok2...x saba dh ni...nk share hadiah rin thun ni....dh lama sgt2 rin nak ada 1 benda ni...x sngka dpat...

ALBUM CHARICE YANG ORI - "INFINITY"

kalau baca post sebelum ni...msti kowang tau...rin mmg sgt gila kt charice....

lpas ni...rin nk target beli album ni pulak.....

p/s: nk cerita jgk cm na suprise tu...tp x reti lak....n klau cita mesti sound so lame...so better it stay in the memory as one good memory that i wont forget forever....x sgka awak book floor ats juz tuk party tu...thnk u...

p/s2 : thnk also to ridzuan sbb blnja karok....hahaha...mmg dh gian dh pn..nk g sorang kt penang...tkut...hihi...

thnk u sgt2 sume....:D