My new silent buddy...

hi....

lma dah rasanya x update blog....byk sangat

nk cita...smpai x tercerita... (xcited ni...)

ok...where to begin????

1. my new silent buddy.

His name is toki. Mmg sangat diam tp sangat nakal. Hari ni genap la 2 mggu toki ngan rin...his is present from someone special (thnk u sgt2... (^-^) ). Toki la yg selalu menceriakn ari rin.....isi masa lapang rin...unknowingly (enth pe ak nyer bahasa...= tanpa sedar) he teach me alot of thing. he teach me to love, to have responsible, to care, tuk jadi lebih pembersih...hahaha...n most obvious....toki ajar rin menjadi seorang yg sgt penyabar.....i mean...sangat2....

TADA!!!! ni la buah ati rin....TOKI.....my little buddy...my brother...sometime my son

...hihi...

BIODATA TOKI..

Nama : Muhammad Toki bin Nurin Adlina..(credit to my roo8 for the name)

umur : Almost 2 month...masa bli sebulan lbh...tp nmpk besar.

Besday aka first day ngan rin : 2 Ogas 2011

Tempat lahir aka tempat bli : pusing (lpa nma kdai)

Makanan fav :sangat suka makan kertas, salad n makan benda manis ( jam rambutan nad,

koko cruch n cork flakes nad) walaupn sebenarnya x leh makan.

Personaliti

-sangat x suka bila angkat...tp mnja

-bli nk manja nnt dye dtg jilat...or dtg naek ats riba...sangat comel..

-bila mara msa x bagi kuar cage...akn gigit...x kuat la.

-sangt x suka mandi...abs rin kna cadar...tp sbb sayang thn je la..huhu

-suka gigit n makan kotak n paper...

-sangt suka kencing ats katil....sangt tension...otoke...x taw dh nk wat cm na....

-x leh makan yg byk n bercampur2...t cirit birit...dh 2 kali since dgn rin...sgt rsau...huhu - Naseb baek de pil chi kit teun (pil merawat sakit perut )..alhamdulillah...

-sangat ska duduk bwh meja nad (my roo8)

-pe lagi....sangat ska slide n lari dlm blik....mentang2 la lantai licin...

-he finally know im his family...sbb everytime asa x secure..he come to me...thnk u my dear

-td masa bring ats lantai dgn toki...i realizing something..i don know what will happen to me if i lost him....eventhough baru 2 week..asa lma sgt n asa dekat sgt...

ni bila dye gosok idung dye gna both hand...sgt cute...sbb 2 slalu cair...

ni first time bawak dye jln2 kt luar....(me and toki)

this his home...where he poo2 n wei2...beside my bed..toki2~~~

ni time rehat lepas penat2 lari kt dlm blik..

Thank to all my house8 and especially my roo8 nad sbb support rin jga toki....downg pn slalu maen ngan toki lps stress study...

other story bout toki...bole la klik kt my roo8 blog..

http://nadiahzulkifli188.blogspot.com/2011/08/unorganized-room.html

sorry pnjg la post kli ni...ska like-like my liver la kan...hihi..my world...hihi

lps ni byk lagi cita toki akan menyusul....

my name in japan

ヌリン アヅリナ ビンティ ノルディン

She The best...she's LEGEN.....wait for it.....DARY!!!!

Here i present Charmaine Clarice Relucio Pempengco (born May 10, 1992), popularly known Charice, is a Filipino recording artist and actress who rose to popularity through YouTube. Dubbed by Oprah Winfrey as the Most Talented Girl in the World, she released her first international studio album, Charice in 2010. 18 years old..AWESOME singer. On first glance, Charice looks like any other teenager, small and sweet. But when she opens her mouth to sing,– the audience quite literally gasps and numb. At the peak of her song, you feel it throughout our heart and mind, a speechless goose bumps. Personally, i still feel it now even though it my 10 time listen to the same song. Her voice sound pure and it come from her heart.

Day 1

Day 1

result kuar ari ni.... he change...

RESULT!!!!!!!

AR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cuak gila!!!!!!!!!!result dh kuar.....x da kekuatan nk tgk result!!! 2 la....sem lps byk maen2....kn dh pdn mka hg.............

What should i do lps tgk result...(which is dh taw truk) klu bellow 3.....nk wat pe???

1. tdo dgn lmanya

2.naek keta kuar....n x taw nk g ana....

3...............

4. mkn(tp duit xda)

5. jgn kontek parent

6. jgn blik umah

7. xtaw nk wat pe???

8. conclusion: jgn tgk result

Whisper from my heart

commitment...marriage.....couple.....single..... friendship....which life suit me? which life is my call...

the real important now is what i want in my life, what i really want? After 20 years 5 months 16days..i still have no clue of anything i want...i only know what i don want..perhaps what i wish im not..one thing for sure god always have plan for u... u have to believe and strive for success.... sometime you only can link the dot backward not forward.

friendship....

I lost my bes friend..not really lost...i just lost contact....it all my fault, i should contact her more, juz think can solve anything. u hav to do it. i dont know. i juz dont know how to start conversation, i don't know what to talk...

n now to search for a new one. i don have think anyone want to be with, i have nothing to give them back. i now friendship it not only about giv and take..it more than that, but to start an new relationship,which im really suck at it. The only thing in my head right now is i have to be able to contribute something, at least something to be proud of it someone happen to be with me.

Couple.

i thought it can replace the emptiness in my life. im so wrong. i can't expect to be the same. what i learn today friend and boyfriend is to different person. boyfriend is not always can be your friend. it mayb but it better not to expect to much. this because, the way u feel toward him, and how u think about him...he can never be the same with your friend. u can't talk to ur bf the same as ur guy friend. To be honest, life as couple among single (include long distance relationship)...in other word u the only couple there in the group..other, their partner at other place...this life is suck...really suck..i don even know how to adapt with it. it getting worst when u are not in the same roof (schedule) with them. and ur partner is not heping with that. because he has the same roof with them. at the end, u left alone again.

My Confession....

1. Sometimes, the only reason I want to die is to see what people remember about me, what reminds them of me, or if they would even cry.
2. I hate that I hurt you so much. I mean, I tell you that I’m sorry for causing you pain and ruining your life, but I don’t think you realize that I actually AM truly and deeply sorry. I’m trying so hard to fix my mistakes so I won’t hurt you anymore, but you’re so blinded by what I did to you in the past that you refuse to see that I am making progress and changing. I just want things to be the way they once were again.
3. http://etiquetteforagentleman.tumblr.com/ ( nix de kaitan ngan tjuk....sja asa cm menarik website ni...hihi)
4. I think i'm bipolar....am i??
5. I love you, but sometimes love just isn’t enough. I don’t want to put myself through what you did to me again. I don’t want to go through all that pain. I’m afraid I’ve finally learned my lesson.
6. I'm a spoil kid.
7. I’m so tired of having to have a reason for doing the things I do. Maybe I’m just doing them because they make me happy.
8. Sometimes I feel like he doesn’t really love me, like he only keeps me here because I’m a hand to hold, a friend with as many benefits as a girlfriend.
9. Sometimes, I get jealous of other people and their best friends because I wish I could get that close to someone.
10. I hate myself, but i don’t know to change.

taken from http://blogconfession.tumblr.com/archive

Searching for me.....or not.....

People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates. ~Thomas Szasz, "Personal Conduct," The Second Sin, 1973

You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself. ~Alan Alda

Never mind searching for who you are. Search for the person you aspire to be. ~Robert Brault,

You'll never find peace of mind until you listen to your heart. ~George Michael, "Kissing A Fool"

Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen carefully. ~Littlefoot's mother,Land Before Time

It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself. Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about. ~Alan Ball,American Beauty, 1999

If you're not a rebel by the age of twenty, you've got no heart, but if you haven't turned establishment by thirty, you've got no brains. ~Swimming with Sharks, 1994, written & directed by George Huang, spoken by the character Buddy Ackerman played by Kevin Spacey

i guess...i should try to be honest with myself.....

Addiction

Addiction....

It a brain disease.It bad, it wrong but it reality.It is so hard.

It something that i have to face every day.The more i resist, the harder it become.

Every time i try to replace it will something else, it work but it create new addiction.It can be anything. Even something you won't expected. It can be movie, sleep, coffee, teh tarik, sweet, cake, game....until to big matter like smoking, drug, sex or even pain killer. Each addiction is different from i and another. Whatever it is, we only realize we it getting worst and we don't know how to stop it anymore. There always excuse to this addict. It easy to say. It hard when it happen to yourself. It getting harder when you are afraid to tell anything because it humiliating.

About me...

1. I can sleep more than 12 hours a day.

2. I can watch movie more than 1 season in one night non stop.

3. .................

4. I like my addiction so much. I don't think i want to stop it.

5. It feel wrong and i always feel guilty.

6. All my addiction driving me crazy, i have to hold myself from doing it every second in my life.

i just wish i don have it...don even know bout it....n don have to suffer now....huhuhu

Mengidam tomyam......waa!

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.......

Ptg ni lpas g aerobik..ttiba..teringin lak nk makan tomyam kt "klasik"....kdai makan yg bes n awesome outside my campus......nasi sepinggan plus tomyam daging n tlur dadar x de bwng..sambal belacan ckit....pergh TERBAEK!!!!!.nk meleleh dh ni air liur pk sal tomyam 2...huhuh..makin lapa lak bila tlis post ni.....tp bosan la klu g sowng....ok la...nk g mndi...dh busuk dh ni....hehehe

First baby Step

1 July 2011,

This is the first day of this blog...the first day i finally start my first step create my own world.... This blog is my imaginary friend where i share thing.....my world where i can be what ever i want to be......

my new like as 20 ~~adult (hehehehe)....

Who am i??

Losing myself, from acting like someone Im not, but now who am I, where did I go, Where is my true face behind all these masks?

This quote totally represent me...i though i work hard enough to plead everyone...but now i realize...i just make it even worst......but by the time i realizing it...... i lost my myself and to make it even worst i do not recognize my self anymore...huhu.....

The big question now....WHO IS THE REAL ME?????

Am i my past...or the fake me is the real me?

Hoping that one day i'll wake up with answer.....wish me luck in my journey...

Hurt

by Silence

I thought things could be different.
When you were around,
It gives me a peace of mind.
Just by talking to you, gives problem no airtime.

Just as i thought you're the one whom i can trust and confide in,
Things started to change.
I'm upset.

I don't know what's the cause.
I don't know what i've done wrong.
But i'm here saying this to you,
I'm sorry.

I wonder if i ever exist in your eyes.
Am i invisible to you?
I've never thought you would be so cold.
I'm sad.

Day and night i think about it,
Hoping for the better.
But all i got is tears rolling down my cheeks.
I cried.

I wish things could have been different.
I wish all this could never happen.
But it's all too late now.

All i want you to know is that
I need you,
I miss you,
and I love you.

taken from www.poems-and-quotes.com